For the person with everything...

I WANT THESE 

When doing research for a post regarding cat ailments, I came across these..

This Drew Oliver person is smart...and strange which are a fantastic combination.

Think about this..

Know anyone you want to make laugh after learning some rather unsettling news?

I'm so sorry you have Chlamydia. 

*

Though I think if there is a person who really could use one of these ..

This guy is seriously a great idea. 

Consider finding out that someone you know was diagnosed with Cancer. 

How many times do you think they want to hear a person feel bad for them?

I wonder how many people have just wished they could punch Cancer in the face?

How do you tell a child that they, or their parent has Cancer?

I just think it's a phenomenal way to open up a discussion.

*

  Let's change the topic to something a little less serious.. but still very important. 

How do you tell someone that they have Bad Breath? without them feeling embarrassed?

Well you can't.. they will still feel bad but now they have a stuffie!

*

The only cute format of this...

Know someone that is trying to get pregnant?

Or are you weird and just want to send Sperm in the mail.

*

Stop clicking the pictures... the link will be at the bottom. It is all from the same site!

Would it be scary or just give someone a chuckle? Anthrax

*

This little guy is cute.. the disease ..not so much..Leprosy

Is it creepy that the skin peels away? Or is it awesome?

*

Can you guess? 

Of course you can.

How cute would this be to get if you were a kid and missed out on something because of stupid 

Chicken Pox?

*

People were actually offended by this stuffie. 

People are stupid. 

They were upset at others trying to make Ebola a joke. 

No, you asshats.. they were trying to make a scary situation a bit less freaking scary!

*

Who knew Rabies were so cute?

Old Yeller would disagree 

Aww Old Yeller :(

*

This would be a great way of raising money, and awareness about HIV

*

Will someone please send this to Disneyland ?

Not sure how well it would go over, but hey.. Measles happened.

*

I love all these little guys.. they are so damn cute! 

Just a few more ... there are lots more on the site!!

*

Swine Flu has never been so cute!

*

And lastly I will leave you with something you can send to that cheating ex..

Crabs

For all of these and more - check out this awesome store!!

Giant Microbes

Wtf Nature?

Part 1

 Nature is messed up. 

Actually, the whole world is.

Consider the SnapDragon - 

Hello Mr Skull, don't you look creepy today. 

Is it just by chance that these flowers resemble tiny skulls, or is there some other evolutionary reason?

If there is an evolutionary reason.. how do they know what skulls look like.

The plants have eyes!

Shh they also have ears.

What is the possibility that this plant evolve those little white pieces by accident?

They were totally meant to look like teeth. 

I am a bit creeped out.

*

We know this one..The Venus Fly Trap.

Did you also know that they not only eat insects, the also eat small mammals?

That they survive not from the nitrogen that comes through their roots..

Noo.. they need to eat animals to get that. 

An animal eating plant!

What is a bit more on the creepy side is that this plant basically has triggers in its 'mouth' that cause it to close. 

It has traps. 

I see where it got its name from. 

Venus Mouse Trap must have sounded to harsh. 

Venus The Serial Killing Plant.

The Dahmer Plant

I went to far...
*

Amorphophallus Titanum

- Though this isn't the actual translation... it kinda means giant penis without form. 

 "Titan Arum"

-I guess the giant penis plant wanted a different name

 

This is the Corpse Flower 

-Seriously, how many weird names does one plant need?

Kinda ugly.

This freak of a flower smells like rotting meat. 

Hence the name 'Corpse Flower'

Why does it smell like death and not like roses?

To attract certain insects and repel others. 

I guess that makes sense. 

Humans give off pheromones to attract other humans.

It would be confusing and rather disturbing if our pheromones started attracting plants. 

Also impossible. 

But I digress. 

This 'plant' can grow to be 10 feet tall. 

Apparently there was one that weighed over 200 pounds!

This is the same plant.. it looks less freakish and more Nintendo.

This plant originates from Sumatra, which is located in Western Indonesia 

Titan, as I like to call it.. has both male and female flowers that grow in the same Inflorescence

When Titan is in bloom it is actually the same temperature as the human body. 

The colour of the plant also helps pull off the illusion of meat.

It really must want to be human. 

Maybe it is!

It isn't.

It kinda weirds me out. How does it know what meat looks like???

How does it know what the human bodies temperature is??

Why do I care?
*

What in the hell!

I betcha this is the spy that told the other plants everything!

Doll's Eyes

I prefer the name Marshmellow Egg Eyes

This is one of those plants that fights back. 

It can kill you. 

In the least it can make feel yucky. 

Give you skin blisters

Cause cardiac arrest..

The whole damn plant is poisonous.

But it's the eyes that can kill you. 

They have seen too much. 

It is also called White Baneberry 

Fitting. 

*

 

This plant needs to see a Doctor. 

Sorry, this Fungus needs to see a Doctor.

Or Priest. 

I was wrong. It needs to see a Dentist!

Bleeding Tooth Fungus. 

Wanna hear something funny?

Not poisonous 

Not Carnivorous

Hydnellum Peckii - Scientific Name..

I just read that it forms a mutually beneficial relationship with many coniferous trees ..

Anyone else read that as fungus friends with benefits ?

Maybe it has an std...slutty fungus. 

*

Because Octopus Plant was just not fitting enough?

Seriously, if I ever came across this thing I would ...well I would think I just fell down a rabbit hole and was off to visit Alice.

I gotta post more pictures of this one...

Because..

 IT HATCHES!!!

This weirdo Fungus hatches out of what looks like and egg. 

You can eat this fungus when it is still in the egg stage...They say it sort of tastes like a potato..

I say.. go eat a potato.

So creepy fungopus is a spouting egg...

Then..

Then it turns into that snake from Beetle Juice!

How freaking cool ...and creepy.. is that!

Unfortunately it smells like dog poo. 

Oh and it's also known as the Devil's Claw...apparently they had not seen Beetle Juice. 

*

Why does it have to be a Hooker?

What about Lady of the Night Lips?

or

Prostotulip

I should name plants. 

Part 2 coming soon.

The Green Fairy

Dr Ordinaire, we may have him to thank for Absinthe. 

So fancy ... Those French .. But it's just Dr Ordinary to the rest of us. 

Ironic that the man of such a name brought us such a non ordinary potion.

Potion.. Because it's no ordinary... I can't stop using that word now...drink.

So are we all mad here?
Does this rather beautiful gem of a beverage actually cause hallucinations? 
Does Van Gogh have the Green Fairy to blame for his personal body modification?

I haven't read that far yet... but lets start with what is actually in Absinthe

Henri-Louis Pernod opened the first Absinthe distillery in 1805

He used 

• Aniseed
• Fennel
• Hyssop
• Lemonbalm
• Angelica
• Star Anise
• Dittany
• Juniper
• Nutmeg
• Veronica
• Wormwood
• Water
• Alcohol

The Classic Method of  Drinking Absinthe

With a shot glass containing Absinthe, a slotted spoon is placed over top.

This spoon holds a sugar (cubed generally now)

Cool water is then poured over the spoon 

As the water hits the Absinthe, oils emerge and mix in and the drink changes from a clear emerald to an opaque milky white.

There are other ways to prepare Absinthe but this one looks cool, has been done since the 1800's and does not involve fire. I dislike when drinking and fire mix... it scares me. 

So now that we have the basics covered.. what does this little green goblin actually do?..sorry, fairy..

 

Firstly NO Absinthe does not cause Hallucinations. Sorry.

Secondly NO Absinthe is not the reason Van Gogh cut off his ear.  

It is described as a "Waking Drunk"

Basically that means instead of the normal Dumbass.. You are more alert and yes in an altered state..but you will not see little green fairies..

Sounds pretty good... inhibitions lowered...synapses firing faster..

So fear not!

Though you may still act like an ass.

You may vomit..cuz you probably drank too much.

You may over spend because the drink is pretty and the spoon thing is cool..oh but not in a bar. 

You will have to find another place to drink Absinthe

Bars are not allowed to sell Absinthe

But the LCBO does!

I WANT IT!

It has cat eyes!!

Dammit I should have asked for this for Christmas.

It's $64.95

That's only $21.65 for 3 people..

I just thought of something..

'Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way'

I think Miss Poppins has some explaining to do.

Moving on.... 

So why was Absinthe banned if it does not actually cause hallucinations?

                                                         

  Why must they steal our fun?



In 1905, a disturbed Swiss man, drunk on absinthe, murdered his entire family.

No...Absinthe did not speak to him and say..hey buddy, whatcha doin?? Wanna go kill your family? No? How dare you speak to me that way, kill them at once! This is Absinthe speaking, you can not ignore me!
Insanity, crazy ass freak of a murderous moron, broken man with a bad temper .. those are what could have caused the killing to occur.

But Absinth is the logical target.
People were killing people left and right as they walked out of the bars after drinking this evil potion.
Wait... that didn't happen. 
Why didn't that happen?
BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Absinthe Is Death

 I have to admit...I kinda like that poster, lets see what else they have...

Dr Valentin Magnan, the chief physician at the asylum of Sainte-Anne in Paris. Magnan wrote :

"In absinthism, the hallucinating delirium is most active, most terrifying, sometimes provoking reactions of an extremely violent and dangerous nature. Another more grave syndrome accompanies this: all of a sudden the absinthist cries out, pales, loses consciousness and falls; the features contract, the jaws clench, the pupils dilate, the eyes roll up, the limbs stiffen, a jet of urine escapes, gas and waste material are brusquely expulsed. In just a few seconds the face becomes contorted, the limbs twitch, the eyes are strongly convulsed, the jaws gnash and the tongue projected between the teeth is badly gnawed; a bloody saliva covers the lip, the face grows red, becaomes purplish, swollen, the eyes are bulging, tearful, the respiration is loud, then the movements cease, the whole body relaxes, the sphincter releases, the evacuations soil the sick man. Suddenly he lifts his head and casts his eyes around him with a look of bewilderment. Coming to himself after awhile, he doesn't remember one thing that has happened."

That is horrific!!
But.. this is based on animal testing where he basically gave the animals a super toxic dosage of pure Wormwood. Asshat.


 A big problem during this timeline was the ignorance of alcoholism - or the greed of other industries ...one of the two.
There were problems with alcoholism - not Absintism - ALCOHOLISM
But Wine was healthy.
Maybe they are right with Wine being more natural then Absinthe.

There were issues... much like today, companies cheap out and use chemicals to produce a variant of the original.
Chemicals were used to produce the emerald colour and then to create the milky colour.
So in that case..things may have gone bad for a few.



Absinthe basically was put through a Witch Hunt - Alcohol version.


People still believe it is the drink of deviants - lack of knowledge, or they can't be bothered to learn something different then they currently believe.

So I was looking up Absinthism

MedicineNet
Absinthism: The disorder associated with the habitual abuse of absinthe. The symptoms included hallucinations, sleeplessness, tremors, and convulsions.

Dictionary.Com
Absinthism: A diseased condition resulting from excessive drinking of absinthe

Merrium Webster
Absinthism: A diseased condition resulting from habitual excessive use of absinthe that contains oils of wormwood 

Interesting ...

Oh.. Van Gogh...He was depressed, broke, strange, and probably a few other things... that is why he cut off his ear. 




Or I could be wrong..

Rorschach

Dr Dysfunction asks - What do you see here???

Easy question right?

Except I see - 

2 dogs playing tug of war or 2 donkeys

A super villain with his hands up

2 stuffed animal ponies 

What do other people see? or What are we suppose to see?

I don't see a bat or butterfly or moth.

I don't see a female figure

I don't see a jack o lantern or a mask

I don't see any animal face - I see their shape

I don't see anything female about this.. 

...If you wanted to know.. yes I am paranoid and I have body image issues... but the picture tells nothing!!

I see a womans eyes, she is sad and possibly bleeding 

I also see two garden gnomes giving each other a high five.

No butterfly or moth.. 

I see blood...and I do have difficulty controlling my anger... mostly towards technology. 

Are Gnomes people? I guess they would like to think they are. 

I see no animals. Dammit I guess I won't become a dominatrix any time soon.

I see two posh looking british men carrying some sort of heavy box

I see tiny creatures whispering into their ears

I see a floating bow tie

Oh goody I am straight..already knew that. 

But why are they British???

And what are those little creatures whispering to them?

Absolutely a monster riding a Harley

It's a hairy monster with big feet... 

Big foot on a motercycle!

Well that doesn't tell me anything. 

Though I felt Big Foot would be more like one of members of ZZ Top 

Menacing? I guess big foot could be.. so I half have issues with authority...

Well if you don't see a bat in this one then you are not really trying. 

I see a baby bat.. but it would not be all batty... it would be like a glow worm.. why the hell would it be like a glow worm?????????

A cute bat.. thats what I see. 

I did see a bat.. but it wasn't moving!! I swear. 

I do have the hostility...yes indeed. 

But it was a cute bat!!

I don't like this one. 

The top part reminds me of whiskers so it looks like a cat sliced down the center. 

I love cats.. this picture sucks. 

Um.. I guess that would  be considered an animal hide.. 

I like the last part... that individual might have been high when he or she looked at the card.

Doesn't that count for all of the cards?

Was the person high when they wrote these cards?

I bet they were high when they made the pictures. 

I see two girls talking. 

I am not sure why their pony tails are sticking up, but they are. 

They could possibly be on a swing facing eachother. 

My mother would be pleased that I do not have any significant mother issues.. lol. Which I don't. 

I have issues however with the fact that this card is trying to say that if a person sees an oil lamp that they may be at risk for schizophrenia. That to me sounds slightly ridiculous. 

I see pink iguanas. 

Oh crap now I see a clown.. that can't be good. 

Hey I am normal.. at first.. but then I have cognitive problems because the clown was unsettling. 

I see a moo cow. Friendly but looks like fire. 

I can also see deer antlers. 

I just saw the cow wearing a jean jacket. 

That tells  me nothing!!!

A cow in a jean jacket... 

Party at the Eiffel Tower!

I see people dancing 

Birds

Streamers.

Again.. I get nothing. 

It sure as hell cant be saying I am happy with my present life situation.. Maybe if I was actually in Paris..

How do people not see a party??

*****

Just so you know... I downloaded each picture 1 at a time... wrote what I saw.. then downloaded the card.. and so on... and I changed nothing. 

I probably should have changed some.. I am feeling a bit paranoid that I am weirder then I suspected.